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Less Tickle-Me-Elmo's in northside Minnesota?

December 22, 2006 at 0:53am

A friend of mine sent me this. It's pretty d--- funny.

There is a factory in northern Minnesota, which makes the Tickle Me Elmo dolls.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena was hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reported for her first day
promptly at 8:00 a.m. At 8:45 a.m., there was a knock at the personnel manager's door.

The shop foreman threw open the door and began to rant about the new employee.
He complained that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the
entire production line behind schedule.

The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched
down to the factory floor. When they got there the line was really backed up so that there
were Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they were beginning to pile up fast.

At the end of the line stood Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She had a
roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement
as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began to carefully sew
the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager burst into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulled himself together and approached Lena.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood
the instructions I gave you.


Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

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Winner of the 2006 NASCAR Nextel Cup, Jimmie Johnson!

November 21, 2006 at 9:54pm

Congrats to Jimmie, for winning the cup!

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What's going on in tk90's life now- November 3, 2006

November 4, 2006 at 4:04am

November 3, 2006
11:04 PM, Central US Time

Missed opportunities, lack of self-confidence, depression.
Is there no end to my suffering?

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Winners of the 2006 World Series, the Saint Louis Cardinals!

October 28, 2006 at 6:58pm

The Cards outlasted the Detroit Tigers in 5 games to win the big one, the World Series! With that said, I hereby dedicate these 2 songs to the Cards:

We are the champions, my friend
We fought the Tigers 'till the 5th
We are the champions
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
No time for Detroit
'Cause we are the champions... of MLB!

and my version of 'Never Scared' by Bone Crusher, STL style:

It's baseball time, once again it's ooooon
So everybody outta yo' seats and cheer the Cards oooon
And tell the Detroit Tigers
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
WE AIN'T NEVA SCARED!

HOME RUN! It's on
It's an offensive struggle, bringin' it on
The Cards are a legion that can't be stopped
We're gonna go for the goal 'till we reach the top
This is just the 1st inning, can't you feel the prowl
IT'S BASEBALL TIME, can't you feel it now?
How many times have I told you STL is the best
We gonna win the Series, in a 5-game contest!

It's baseball time, once again it's ooooon
So everybody outta yo' seats and cheer the Cards oooon
And tell the Detroit Tigers
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
WE AIN'T NEVA SCARED!

The anticipation is about to go down
You can feel the vibration from town to town
18 players, ready for action
the people in the stadium are ready for ACTION
It's time to go head-to-head on the diamond
WATCH OUT, 'cause the ball is flyin'
it's just the 5th inning, gettin' closer to winning time
GO STL, IT'S BASEBALL TIME!

It's baseball time, once again it's ooooon
So everybody outta yo' seats and cheer the Cards oooon
And tell the Detroit Tigers
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
WE AIN'T NEVA SCARED!

Into the game, the score is 2 to 3
It's goin' back and forth, IT'S ABOUT TO GET UGLY
Everybody's doin' the wave to pump up the team
It's the heart of the battle, the Card's fans dream
Just 1 out to go, you can feel the tension
The game's on the line, no time for slippin'
It's PRIME TIME, Friday night
WE STRUCK 'EM OUT, EVERYBODY, ALRIGHT!

It's baseball time, once again it's ooooon
So everybody outta yo' seats and cheer the Cards oooon
And tell the Detroit Tigers
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
WE AIN'T NEVA SCARED!

It's baseball time, once again it's ooooon
So everybody outta yo' seats and cheer the Cards oooon
And tell the Detroit Tigers
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
We ain't never scared, we ain't never scared
WE AIN'T NEVA SCARED!

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Saint Louis Cardinals

October 18, 2006 at 10:51pm

October 11, 2006
5:51 PM, Central US Time

As the big fan of the Saint Louis Cardinals that I am, I am happy to say that all the Cards need is one more victory over the NY Mets to advance to the World Series final! GO CARDS!

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User since

Oct 12, 2005 at 10:13pm

Location

Saint Louis, Missouri

Interests

Sports, comedy, music. Want specifics? Ask me.

Occupation

Professional hockey watcher/aspiring comedian

Personal bio

Hi! My name is Tom. I don't say much about myself (or try not to anyway). I never know what to put in these things anyway. Whatever you want to know, just ask me, I'll answer.

 

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